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The Real Deal w/ Tommy D’Aprile #124

Not long ago I was thinking about the tremendously wide variety of professions available in the world these days. We have admirable pursuits made by doctors, lawyers, principals, teachers, company executives, pro athletes, auto techs, hairdressers, chefs, servers and so many more the list could be practically endless. But one “profession” I considered has become exceedingly popular. It’s one you may not have thought much about before but seems very common in today’s society. Of course the profession I speak of is that of the professional victim

Ah yes, some of you know this profession so very well. It may sound strange, but some people find it very comfortable to play the victim. They grow used to feeling sorry for themselves and throw pity parties on a regular basis, even inviting others to join in by saying seemingly innocuous things like, “Oh, you poor thing,” or “Yes, you have it so rough.” 

But professional victims use hate, lies and complaints to focus attention on themselves. They tend to blame everyone and everything else for all their perceived woes. They also believe they have every right to wallow in self pity and publicly share their misery. A quick glance over most people’s Facebook feeds will confirm the presence of several professional victims at work.

They believe the worst, degrade the quality of life, spin tales of sadness, act defensively, constantly put themselves down, and absolutely refuse to analyze situations with an eye toward improvement. They often exhibit passive-aggressive tendencies, saying things like “Fine,” or “Whatever,” when those sentiments are the farthest thing from their minds. In truth, they usually set themselves up for failure through acting self absorbed, living in the past and focusing only on their problems. 

And these are just a few of the many destructive “qualities” of this defeating profession. The problem is that most professional victims get so wrapped up in all this negativity that they feel like they could never quit. 

Well, I have some great news! Not only can you quit this profession, you can be free of it altogether. Playing the victim is a learned behavior; it does not have to stay with you. It can be overcome. Who was it that told you that you’re not, you can’t, you won’t, you will never be? The truth is that you are more than able, you can, you are, you will!  

I’m reminded of a lady I work with who some years back was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her attitude remained so upbeat and positive throughout all of her treatments that she served as a blessing to many others going through the same sickness. She missed very few days of work and maintained nothing but a positive outlook. And I am so very happy to report she is cancer free today. She didn’t know what the outcome would be at the time, but one thing for sure was she never played the victim. She chose to live victorious minded—and still does to this day.

The truth is that being a professional victim is a very unattractive role to accept. It’s so much better for you to make choices that will most benefit you and your family. You can unlearn this behavior and turn the corner to a healthier lifestyle. Although we all inevitably go through some tough things in life, it’s our job not to let those things define us. We can overcome and not play the victim, choose to love instead of hate, and choose to look forward, no matter what our past may have held. 

The common word here is “choose.” So my advice is to stop playing the victim and give up the profession because there is no good future available there. Instead, choose victory in all areas of your life, even if you can’t yet see the cloud’s silver lining. Just remember that what you focus on is what you will become. So start today focusing on what is right, true, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy. Start focusing on where you’re going and not so much on where you’ve been, because the choice you make today truly can change your destiny. As always, though, that choice is yours and yours alone to make.

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